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It has been a while since I picked up a camera to take some 'arty' shots. I am thrilled to say that Flynn seems to have taken to life in front of a lens as well has his two big brothers. Having a baby in the house brings with it a sense of wonder of nature and the world we live in. Who cannot fail to smile back when a little innocent face grins up at you? 

I see Skye in Flynn's eyes and so many caring traits Jesse demonstrates towards his new brother. Our hearts are still so very heavy but our minds are full of the daily business we must attend to which helps get us through each day. 

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Flynn’s birth has been a lifeline to us all but there is a term for bringing a child into the world, labour. There is no term for the pain watching them leave, a labour that lasts for eternity. A struggle every day to remember to breath between each contraction of the heart, a fleeting moment of respite before the next wave of agony controls your mind. 

I enjoy breast feeding the new man in my life, watching his little face and hearing his contended noises. Third time around, I am determined to ‘crack’ better sleeping habits. Skye and Jesse had snatched sleeps during the day as we dashed from one social engagement to another. I have two books by my bed, one on Gentle Sleep Solutions and the other on Mindfulness in Grief. Just like my moods I can lunge from one subject to another in an instant, especially during night time feeds when the house is silent and I have time for my mind to wander.

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WHAT IS THIS?

The book on mindfulness grabbed my attention with an image.  It is 'sky with bird', not just a bird. Seeing the sky and the bird with equal amount of attention, and no desire to change either one is mindfulness. The book goes on to explain that, if applied to grief skillfully, mindfulness allows us to observe the fullness of our experience: our heartache and love, fear and anger and our gratitude for the friend with the casserole, and whatever else shows up. Rather than fight against reality, we learn to embrace each moment mindfully.

We have been fighting non-stop for the last two and a quarter years and we are tired. There are still things we will keep fighting for – a fomalised data collection system for children on standard cancer treatment protocols for one! Our communication with Oncologists and Politicians is ongoing. It is senseless and short sighted not to have a system in place for consultants who work round the clock to try and help our children, not to be able to formally share their experiences with standard treatments (good or bad). 

We will however try not to fight so hard with society. It is incredibly hard to feel in touch with people that live along side us knowing they will often only see the positive exterior we arm ourselves with when faced with work, charity events and school pick up.

For Andrew and I, running the Charity is not a ‘feel good’ activity to give us focus, it is tiring being constantly positive and thankful, which we understand we need to do and of course genuinely are. There are many days we just want to give up but then someone sends an email or picks up the phone and says they have nominated Blue Skye Thinking for a charity event. Research is a hard ‘sell’ but what the medics need and in the words of Andrew’s hero, Nelson Mandela “There is no keener revelation of a society than the way in which it treats it's children.” With so much chaos in the world, LOVE and GENEROSITY are what will keep us all going.

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Dear Skye,

We have put up your bunting and are trying so desperately to enjoy Christmas as you used to. Despite Jesse's constant chat and Flynn's babbles, the house seems so very empty without you. We miss your infectious giggles and smiling face. We miss your company and we even miss having to settle you down on Christmas Eve! Mummy and Daddy love you darling boy. Xxxx

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Andrew and I have managed to get a Charity Day packing bags at Waitrose in Abingdon - Saturday 12th December. We are really rather lacking in helpers however. Last year was such a successful day as we raised £3,000! This is only possible if we can man every till throughout the day. If you have a spare hour (or two) please come along. We have T-shirts you can wear and it will make you feel all warm and fuzzy knowing you have helped out this Christmas (promise)! Opening hours 8am-8pm. 

If you would like to be kept informed of Fundraising Events in future, do drop us an email and we will add you onto our 'Supports' mail shot. You can also follow us on the Blue Skye Thinking or Loom to the Moon Facebook pages.

You can see upcoming events by visiting the Fundraising Events page of the website and clicking on each polaroid for more information.

We have just discovered a child from the ward has relapsed and another is due brain surgery any day so we remain grateful for all your help.

THANK YOU!

I have just come back from watching Andrew in a ‘Strictly’ dance competition at the school he teaches at in aid of BST, and I feel compelled to write. I can’t tell you how important it is not to judge a book by its cover. I do see how all our smiling fundraising photos can portray an image that we are doing well and enjoying life but that is so dangerous. It takes immense courage and strength to leave the house at all.

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Tonight was the second time I have been out in the evening since Skye died 14 months ago. The first outing was for a jazz gig my amazing friend performed in aid of BST after having lost a child herself earlier in the year, so you see why I wanted to go and support her?

It was important this evening for me to support my wonderful husband who has been so patient and supportive of my black times and to take an excited and proud Jesse to cheer on his dad. I have however been floored by something someone said to me; “I don’t  know how you and Andrew manage to keep going, achieving all the things you do and have fun because if my child died I would be just too devastated.”

I know we shouldn’t care what other people think but we do. We care that they understand about brain tumours, we care they understand that research is the only way the outcomes will change, we care so much, that we set up the Charity. We care too that people know facts about grief, which is why we speak out as honestly as we dare.  In life, we have such little control over so many things. Andrew and I fought alongside our beautiful son and would have given absolutely anything to die instead of him, but we couldn’t, it wasn’t a choice, just like we don’t really have a choice now.

We could end our lives, prove just how much we loved him, that we cannot live without him, perhaps even do it in case we could be with him in an afterlife, but where would that leave our other beautiful boys and where would it leave the children who will be diagnosed tomorrow? However sad we are, we are stuck here and will therefore, in Skye’s very own words, “make the most of what we have”. It is a million miles away from easy, but we will do it because there is not really an alternative. We smile and appear to be fine because we are British (well I am) and we want people to feel at ease, we live with an inner turmoil every day, we are just getting better at hiding it.

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All the dancers did brilliantly by the way and I am so very grateful to everyone who put themselves out of their comfort zone to achieve amazing things - well done. 10 POINTS ALL ROUND!!!

CLICK ON IMAGE FOR VIDEO CLIP

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Last week was Skye’s 7th Birthday and it took every ounce of will power just to breathe. Jesse decided to make him a cake and after singing happy birthday, shouted, “Have a great day Skye”.

It was very apt timing therefore, that we received the news that Julia’s latest book, The Gruffalo Autumn Nature Trail was in print. Andrew rushed to the Bookstore in Abingdon and picked up a copy. Skye and I read all Julia’s books in hospital, his favourite being Jack and the FlumFlum Tree. Seeing the dedication in black and white is amazing but what I love more is the fact that someone Skye admired so much, shared the same feeling for him.

The book is part of a four-part season’s series and is the best ‘to do’ book I have ever come across, Skye would have thoroughly approved of its action packed content. Jesse and I have already transformed a leaf, made a sticker tree and earned our Gruffalo Explorer badge! To pick up a copy, visit Abingdon Bookstore or Blackwells Oxford,  who have kindly agreed to donate a percentage per sale to Blue Skye Thinking. Alternatively you can visit our website www.blueskyethinking.org.

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“While I sadly never met Skye, I was very touched by the video clip which I saw of him and his younger brother Jesse, and impressed by what his parents told me about Skye’s courage and his love of discovering new things. That’s why I dedicated The Gruffalo Autumn Nature Trail to Skye and Jesse. I hope Jesse and his new baby brother Flynn enjoy discovering all the wonderful things that autumn brings."

Julia Donaldson

We would give literally ANYTHING for you to be here to celebrate your 7th Birthday with your family who love you darling boy. The fireworks tonight are for you baby.

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by Andrew Hall

During Pregnancy and Infant Childloss Awareness week, we received this beautiful book written by a friend in South Africa. She writes from the soul and the stunning illustrations speak volumes in themselves. Having had so much positive feed back from her first book Sam&Finn, Kate Polley can now personalise childloss books as a keepsake for any sibling (or parent). Visit https://www.facebook.com/samandfinn or visit www.personalisedchildlossbook.com Thank you Kate. Love from Jesse & Flynn xx

We continue to be grateful for all your support. We had a great turn out at the Oxford Half Marathon at the weekend and have been hugely supported by runners such as:

Kate Fletcher, a nurse who treated Skye at the John Radcliffe Hospital http://bit.ly/1LH2MF4

Gayle Bullivant, running 8 Marathons for 8 years in memory of Grace Duggan www.justgiving.com/GayleandPaulBullivant

Lucy Hamilton, who heard about Skye in the local news: https://www.justgiving.com/LucysYorkshireMarathon

Alan Ford, a father of one of Skye's best friends

Please do keep contacting us with fundraising ideas you wish to do for Blue Skye Thinking. A pack is available in FUNDRAISING EVENTS which contains logos, charity details and much more!

Click on picture for the big reveal...

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Flynn is helping to continue Skye's important work by raising funds for Children's Brain Tumour Charity, BLUE SKYE THINKING. If you played 'Guess Flynn's Birth Weight' this is the man himself making the big reveal...

If you didn't make a guess but just like the video, please pledge £1 at

https://www.justgiving.com/flynn-birt...

(Yes I know I said oz instead of lb - i'll blame it on sleep deprivation! Apologies for the rude gesture at the end of the clip, he still needs to learn some manners!)

In 3rd Place: Ursula 8lb 9oz

In 2nd Place: Rachael 8lb 10oz

In 1st Place: Jenny Cheater 8lb 11.5oz (no she was not the midwife!!)

Well done to all and thank you. Flynn has raised nearly £300 in his first week on earth - good job, your brother would be proud!

FYI Skye was a diddy 6lb 15oz and Jesse was 7lb 14oz

Flynn has proven himself to be made of strong stuff having fought off a nasty infection, which seems to want to remain a mystery! The quick actions of the nursing staff on the ward and the commencement of some pretty hard hitting antibiotics, no doubt changed the outcome as he has remained ‘well’ and we could have had a very sick baby on our hands.

On this occasion, we were lucky and Flynn’s lumbar puncture and blood culture provided negative results for meningitis, but other babies are not so lucky and although rare, is a reality for some. If, like me, you assumed that the all important non-blanching rash is the key symptom of meningitis, it was not Flynn’s rash (which he did not present with initially) but the following symptoms that raised alarm bells among medics and I thought it prudent to share them with you, in case it sparks a useful memory to help a sick baby in the future to begin treatment quickly.

These include: a fever with cold hands and feet, swollen fontanelles, unusual crying or moaning, drowsiness, floppiness, dislike of bright lights, grunting or rapid breathing, pale blotchy skin, or a purple-red rash that doesn't disappear when you press a glass against it. 

Flynn showed all of these symptoms with the exception of the non-blanching rash and floppiness. Whilst not meningitis, he has no doubt suffered a pretty impressive infection of some sort and we are grateful his inflammatory markers are now almost back down to normal. Three cheers for the NHS!

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Flynn and I have also both been suffering with a head to toe rash (you don't need to see mine), They have been monitored and with both our fever and symptoms much improved, we are on track for home!

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During our stay in HDU, I realised how much milk some premature babies require and have subsequently signed up to be a milk donor. It remains to be seen just how much I will be able to produce with my rather hungry hulk, but if anyone out there feels able to express a little extra for the sake of these tiny bundles then contact Amanda.Wood@ouh.nhs.uk or visit OXFORD MILK BANK

As you have been given a clue as to baby Hall's birth weight you have only 1 day left to place your bets at:

https://www.justgiving.com/flynn-birthday

The man himself will make the big reveal tomorrow when he will be one whole week old already! Well done Flynn for your first ever Blue Skye Thinking fundraiser and thank you to those of you who played along and pledged your £1.

Going home will be, like every other big event in our lives, a time of great excitement and joy but of course coupled with deep sadness that one boy will be missing. In Jesse’s own words “I think Flynn is crying because he knows he will never meet Skye.” Flynn has two brothers, just as Jesse now does - forever and always.

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Skye as the proud big brother almost 4 years ago.

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Jesse as the proud big brother yesterday - Monday 21st September.

Thanks to the vigilance of the nursing staff, Flynn was moved to the High Dependency Unit last night. He is suspected with having an infection and has started a course of i.v. antibiotics. We are awaiting blood culture and lumbar puncture results for Meningitis. He continues to feed well which is encouraging. Hard to see yet again how life can change so drastically in an instant. 

Thank you all for your messages of support. This little man is loved so very much.

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We are proud to announce the safe arrival of our third beautiful son, Flynn Alexander Phoenix Hall. Born at 2.30am today in the water pool at the JR's wonderful Oxford Spires Midwifery Unit. 

Jesse is a very proud big brother, and despite him stating that he already had a brother, so would have rather had a sister, he seems to have been won round with the concept of being able to have a matching wardrobe again! 

We are very grateful to have Flynn in our lives. We are equally grateful for Jesse, who has been through so much upheaval too in his life so far. 

He once again blew us away with his maturity and compassion, when he heard Flynn crying for the first time and immediately said that he thought it was because he would never get to meet Skye! He then went on to say that Flynn could help him with his "very important work" for Skye's Charity and with this in mind we thought of a fun game everyone could play to guess Flynn's birth weight!! Pledge a £1 and have a punt....

https://www.justgiving.com/flynn-birthday

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"I just can't believe it mummy, Lily and JoJo have had babies!!"

A rather unexpected finding today, but Jesse's rather beautiful Lionhead rabbit Lily, gave birth to 5 beautiful babies. JoJo, a Mini Rex, is the proud father, and for the first time in a very long time I actually felt genuine happiness and excitement! Being rather overdue myself, I feel hopeful that the miracle of new life will bring joy back into our hearts.

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Lily and JoJo when they were just wee themselves!

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(As an ex Vet Nurse, I know we mustn't handle the babies, but we needed to do a quick house move to accommodate everyone so took a quick snap and all is well. The baby 'hippos' will now have peace and quiet for the next couple of weeks. Three guesses which one Jesse likes best... And no, we won't be keeping any so new home enquirers are welcome!)

Since my announcement of our impending new Hall baby, I have to thank some very special friends, some of whom have been through extremely tough times themselves, for all their support, long and rather dark conversations. You all mean the world to me! I also need to praise the NHS yet again, for taking my very dark thoughts seriously, and have put in place a number of safeguards prior to birth and post birth to make sure such an emotional time is made as secure and as possible. 

The 29th was a very difficult day but of course every day is empty without our beautiful boy. Re-living every second of Skye's last day was utterly heart breaking. Watching him draw his last few breaths after saying he loved me to infinity brings tears to my eyes while I type this and every time I think of him saying it. I love you too, to infinity and forever.

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A very magical moment happened on the evening of the 29th, those of you in Abingdon may have seen it also, but at Jesse's bedtime, we looked out of our bedroom window and there was the most magical full rainbow in the sky. Jesse then dashed through to the front of the house to see if he could see it from his window, which of course he couldn't, but what he did see was even more spectacular and to his squeals of delight and urgent appeal for us to rush through, the three of just just gazed at the most beautiful pink sky. Jesse finally broke the silence by saying the thought is must be Skye making it pink because he knew we were thinking about him and Skye knew how much Jesse just LOVES PINK! Whatever one's beliefs are, it was a truly magical sight.

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Without wanting to send another blog post out too soon, we also wanted to let all the Loom to the Moon helpers out there know that BBC's Blue Peter on CBBC, will be doing a feature on Skye's record breaking bands THIS THURSDAY at 5pm, so do tune in if you can and see if you can spot your band!

If you missed it, you can watch again 8 mins in: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b06b955k/blue-peter-world-records-chart-toppers

Due to popular demand, we are holding another Prize Draw to win a highly sort after APPLE watch!!!! The first 50 people who sign up to monthly giving will join the current 50 donors in a chance to win. The winner's name will be pulled from a hat by a child from the John Radcliffe Oncology Ward. We will notify everyone once we have reached 50 new donors. Please give whatever you can. You can sign up via http://www.blueskyethinking.org/donate/

Thank you and GOOD LUCK!!!

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Exactly a year ago today, we had no idea that this would be the the last time Skye would be downstairs with the family. Being fed chocolate brownie mix by his brother, it was to be his last meal, last bedtime story and last kiss goodnight. Skye died a year ago tomorrow but it feels like yesterday. His voice resinates wherever we go and the realisation that he only had hours to live is something I haven't even been able to think or talk about. Letting him drift off peacefully and resisting the urge to shake him awake again in the vein hope it would keep him with us for just a few minutes longer was probably the hardest thing I will ever have to do.

I know we should treasure happy times and give people the positive spin everyone so craves but an innocent child died, my child, my first born baby, the very person who made my life complete. Tomorrow will just be another day with a gaping hole in our hearts but it is suffocating at times. Skye and others like him do not deserve this, they are just children and for that very reason we WILL fight on trying to make a difference even if it is a drop in the ocean.

Jesse and this new baby will know everything there is to know about their amazing brother. We have laid our child to rest but not his memory - there is a big difference. Please don't stop talking about him to each other and to us.

We miss you so much Boytjie x

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Now available from our online shop

Printed on 300gsm gloss card, an amazing keepsake for an amazing achievement!

Please include details of the name you wish to appear on the certificate in ADDITIONAL DETAILS right at the end of the order process.

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William, Henry, Edmund, Imogen, Elsie, Eva, Erin and Jesse have all supported the 'Grown-Ups' in a variety of athletic events over the past year and asked if they could have one for children. The trial run for a Children's Fun Run at local leisure facility, Tilsley Park, was a great success.

Despite overcoming the difficult life lessons involved in not winning every race, demonstrated in particular by Jesse, who flung his scooter in rage at coming second in the scooter race, the children all demonstrated maturity with their sponsorship, raising over £100 in total, and loved receiving their Blue Skye Thinking medals.

We hope to hold a bigger event next year and hope to have many more enthusiastic participants!

If only we knew... but we can hope!

Original by Dani and Lizzi

This version by Colette & Clifton is simply beautiful

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Leaving Blenheim Palace with 16 other cyclists, Andrew set of on this epic 2Skye4Skye adventure! The 636 mile journey will include a combination of cycling, kayaking, swimming and hill walking, taking in some of the United Kingdom's most stunning scenery.

Skye is buried in the same cemetery as Winston Churchill in Bladon next to Blenheim. Whenever we visit, we remember Winston's famous words "When you are going though hell, keep going." That is what Andrew and the other cyclists will be thinking at times during their gruelling cycle ride and what we will probably be doing every day for the rest of our lives.

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It was wonderful to have been so incredibly well supported on the Premiere 2Skye4Skye and we hope more keen cyclists will join this biennial event in 2017.

After leading the boys out of the gates, Jesse opted to stay in the support vehicle for the rest of the morning but made it very clear that Daddy must get all the way to the Isle of Skye in order to meet his hero Danny MacAskill. 

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After a week of laying loom bands and being 8 months pregnant, I handed over the unenviable task of 'support team' to Sandy Hall (Andrew's mum) who made it all the way to Fort William where she was relieved of her duties by John Hall (Andrew's Uncle). Without their help, the trip would have been very much tougher, so we owe them a huge thank you!

It is now, I hand over to Andrew for his thoughts and feelings during the trip...

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It seems like an eternity since we left Blenheim Palace on Saturday 25 July, so much has happened. It has truly lived up to expectations, and despite the often inclement weather, the team have met some amazingly kind and generous people. The Forest of Bowland proved challenging and spectacular in equal measure, with its incredible scenery and rolling hills.

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Horatio definitely getting down with nature!

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Elliot - The Go-Pro man himself!

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The variety of cycling on sometimes obscenely busy roads, kayaking the length of Lake Windermere in all its beauty with the intermittent rain, taking on the rigours of the West Highland Way on mountain bikes, the paths that had become rivers in the torrential rain, the tumbles, the conquering of Ben Nevis, the sunshine and the calm and serene evening along the edge of Loch Duich, have made this one of the most exciting and humbling adventures. At all times remembering how privileged we are that we have the physical capacity to achieve this feat, while children across the country are suffering the effects of the rigours of treatment for brain tumours and other cancers.

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Not all smooth sailing when I managed an impressive forward flip over the handle bars of my bike (not after visiting The Wee Train). Despite the huge personal disappointment of having to miss a day cycling in order to have a trip to the local hospital, Jesse insisted on a photograph and it reminded me that it wasn't as bad as Skye's scar!

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So many people who we have met and chatted to along the way, have been touched by what we are doing and spontaneously donated to the Charity. To all of those people who have helped us, we are truly grateful. The Isle of Skye with all its mystique and raw beauty provides us with the final challenge as we seek to conquer the highest peak on the rugged Cuillin Ridge, Sgurr Alasdair. Our ascent starts at 10am on Wednesday the 5th August from the Glen Brittle Campsite. With over 1000km completed, the final objective is tantalisingly close.

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Mind how you go Olly!

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Making to to the sheer elation of making it to the summit was made an even more emotional when Matt, the guide from Skye Adventure presented me with the Prime Minister's Points of Light Award which recognises outstanding individual volunteers and people who are making a change in their community. For Sally and I, finding the emotional strength to to continue is so much harder now than when Skye was alive. We certainly don't feel any more deserving than many other people striving to make a difference in the world but we are honoured to have been chosen as 'Points of Light'.  Winning this award will further bring to the public eye how much more we intend to do and how everyone's support can really help.

If you have a Twitter account, please 'favourite' or re-tweet David Cameron's comments about us, as it will demonstrate to him just how much you all want to help us make a difference too. @Number10gov

I have almost hit my personal fundraising target of £2,000 through https://www.justgiving.com/2Skye4Skye-2015/ and I would like to thank everyone who has donated to our very special and life saving Charity.

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One little boy's dying wish to make his loom band reach the moon.

Thousands of children helped him #LoomtotheMoon, attempting to breaking a World Record in the process. 

Over 200K raised for Brain Tumour cancer research charity - Blue Skye Thinking

BUT did we fulfil Skye's wish? This video has to be seen to be believed!!! Please share link with as many people as you know. https://youtu.be/tF9YzHvInSE