Many of you will know how hard I am finding it to leave the house at the moment. It is very difficult to acclimatise and know where one 'fits in' after witnessing such suffering and sadness. I want to strive to be a better person, not only building the Charity, but to allow Jesse and Flynn to lead a happy life. In so many ways I have come a long way since Skye died, but in others I am still processing everything that happened to him and miss him more now than ever before. I am fragile, lost and numb. My heart has been broken into so many pieces that it will take a very long time to be able to 'feel' again. At the moment, I am 'going through the motions' of life and that will just have to do for now.
I feel very proud of myself for having plucked up the courage to go and see my friends at the Oxford Operatic Gala this weekend. This is the first non Charity, social event I have been to without having a panic attack. I have been so utterly touched by the warmth, generosity and unwavering love these amazing people have demonstrated towards myself and my family over the years and feel extremely lucky to have such deeply caring (and talented) friends. You may all be a bunch of 'lovies', but when the chips are down, you are like a family, "Who could ask for anything more"?
The Gala was incredible and I had to record your last song as it moved me to tears. Never a truer word said (or sung). Thank you from the bottom of my heart for continuing to be there for all of us.
Hope you will enjoy some of these memories we have shared together. I miss you!
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