Sunday night, the panic sets in - tomorrow will be the MONDAY MORNING SCHOOL RUN! We bought our house as close as possible to a primary school in Abingdon, Oxfordshire in order to be certain of being in the catchment area, enabling us to walk to and from school each day. A good 'life choice' we thought but now those choices have proved to be close to my worst nightmare!
Looking out from my bedroom window, I can see the street filling up with busy mums and dads herding excited children towards the closed school gates, Jesse (my youngest) is dressed, phew I can escape the view and go downstairs. The sound of car doors slamming, chatter and calling out to friends finds it's way through the safety of my front door and suddenly fills the kitchen, breakfast is over, thank goodness.
Bag, water bottle, coat, check! My plan to make a speedy dash through the masses who have now collected on my street is dashed when I hear "I'd like to go on my scooter mummy". As a beginner, this is not a speedy means of transport. I take a deep breath and step out of the safety of home to a world I do not belong in any more. The inevitability of seeing familiar faces of other parents, the hushed comments to their children as I wade my way through what seems to be a never ending sea of people is too much! Some choose to cross over the road to avoid saying anything, others get it wrong and say "how are you?" These are lovely people but nothing is right - why? Because my son Skye, (who would have been 6-years-old next week) should be there, part of all the Monday morning chaos but is not. He died 8 weeks ago and life will never be the same again.